The College Years

February 13, 2009

in our story,Wife

IMG_3994 I have been having a ton of fun on my walk down memory lane this week.  (click here to read the beginning of the story).The other day I opened up a hat box which I have filled with Every.Single.Card and note Scott wrote me from our pre-marriage days and our first 2 years of married life.   I told you my love language was words of affirmation and if you needed the proof, it is in the box.

I knew I loved Scott long before he felt that way about me.  And being a words person, I told him.  Because I couldn’t help but tell him.  I felt that way and I felt he should know.

My sweet man was taken a back and replied very honestly that he appreciated that but in his mind those words meant something very special, as in forever kind of love, and he wasn’t ready to tell me that yet.

So, he didn’t.

For years.

He told me very specifically that he wouldn’t tell me he loved me with the forever kind of love until he was ready to put a ring on my finger.

So, I waited.

For years.

IMG_3989 We had our ups and downs.  He went off to Grove City for College that fall and I went to Towson.  We were 5 hours a part.  To make it worse my parents moved that year to western Pa.  So, when he went home for breaks, he went to Annapolis and when I went home, I went to PA.

We e-mailed and called, but not as often as I would have liked.

I had my doubts at times about his feelings for me.  But I kept remembering my mom telling me as I was growing up, that “Love is a decision, not a feeling.”  And I knew I loved him.

My sophomore year I transferred to Slippery Rock University in Pa because my parents move meant in state tuition moved to PA.  I loved Towson and had some great friends there, but I didn’t love it enough to pay out of state tuition rates and I wasn’t ready to move from home to declare residency on my own in MD.

I picked Slippery Rock b/c it was a state school (read affordable) which had a good education program and was 7 miles from Grove City. (yea, that was really the number one reason).

I spent every weekend at Grove City that fall.  Thanks to Scott’s sister and her room mate for letting me stay in her dorm room.  I even recall sharing the top bunk with her on many a night.  Part way through that first semester I realized, that I wanted to be at Grove City and the big thing keeping me from applying to transfer was pride.  So I swallowed that and transferred YET AGAIN that January.

IMG_3982 That spring semester was also rough for Scott and I as I thought now that we went to school together, we could see each other all the time.  And I didn’t have many friends of my own, so I relied heavily on Scott.   He was an engineering student which meant insane hours of homework and when he wasn’t studying he did want to spend time with me, but not all of his time with me.  He had other friends. It took some adjusting for me to realize he wasn’t going to spend every free minute with me.  I credit him with keeping us from being one of those couples that was glued at the hips.  He kept us in balance.

We spent another summer a part, him in MD and me in PA.  But we called, e-mailed and visited each other when we could.

IMG_3995 Our junior year was when our relationship really started to grow.  Many couples started talking about getting engaged.  I had friends that had their entire weddings planned out, even knowing what day they planned to get married, before they were officially engaged.  It should come as no surprise to you that Scott was not one of those kind of guys.

He was very clear that he didn’t want us to be engaged before we were engaged.  No looking at bridal magazines or talking about wedding dates before I had a ring on my finger.

That Christmas he told his parents he was going to start shopping for a ring.  He bought it sometime that winter and told me later he had it in his dorm room for months and would take it out and look at it often.

He had decided when and how he wanted to propose to me and patiently waited for that time.  It killed him when two of my best friends called to tell me they were engaged.  I was naturally thrilled for them, yet there was this part of me that wondered when he would be ready.  I remember when the second phone call came he was in my room.  He heard the shrieks of joy as I chatted with my friend and inwardly groaned.  When I got off the phone their was some awkwardness in the air.  He later told me it killed him that night b/c there he was with the ring in his room and he knew I was wondering why I hadn’t been asked.

But my man had a plan and he stuck to it, wanting to ask at just the right location and just the right time.

Come back tomorrow, on Valentine’s Day to read the story of how and when he asked me to marry him.  (I know I said that yesterday but I felt I had to first fill you in on the 4 years between his first holding my hand to his asking for my hand in marriage…and it just took more words than I had initially thought).

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah February 13, 2009 at 4:21 pm

How cute! I love to hear people’s story about how they met and fell in love! I also love the pictures. Of course you two look the same in all of them (except for your hair!). Love it!

Megan February 13, 2009 at 4:23 pm

I love your story. Some parts of it remind me of Matt and I – the waiting and waiting to get engaged part for sure!
I guess your sophomore year was my senior year – I was right across the hall from Karen and I don’t remember you staying over all the time – it goes to show you how self consumed I must have been (I had my own relationship drama going on!). But I DO remember you on the lacrosse team that year – I wasn’t that out of it! Can’t wait to hear the rest…

bighappyfamily February 13, 2009 at 4:30 pm

:-)

Homegrownstrawberries February 13, 2009 at 4:45 pm

“Love is a decision, not a feeling.”

That is so true. While the idea of a soul mate is appealing, particularly when you and your Love fit so well as to seem “made for each other.” But people are flexible and every person has parts of them that compliment or support others and many many people can fit together is a wonderful way that’s what friendships are made of. But to make that person dear to your heart, that requires effort and sacrifices. Love is a decision and one you need to keep making everyday. Everyday I wake up and decide once again to fall in love with my husband. Its not hard to do but Sin can sometimes make it hard to remember.

I Love your story it really is wonderful romance.

Sue February 13, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Love the story Crystal thanks for sharing! It certainly brings back memories from my college years with Mike. I was the one who kept him waiting :)

Andrea Williams February 13, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Oh, how romantic! It’s not getting me in the mood to go clean the toilets like I really need to be doing.

Mom February 13, 2009 at 6:00 pm

I really think this could be a mini-series on the Hallmark Channel LOL
What a great Valentine’s week. BTW – you two look really young in those pictures!!!

Rebecca February 13, 2009 at 11:52 pm

I think I have goose bumps and I feel like I’m getting very welly in the eyes…this is truly a great story. I can’t imagine all that waiting for the ring to “seal the deal” though…I would not have been so patient!

But looking at you guys now it’s apparent to see that it was all well worth the wait!

And three colleges…now that’s just being an over achiever!

Love your mom’s sound advice!

Muthering Heights February 14, 2009 at 12:04 am

Oh my goodness, Scott looks so YOUNG in those photos! I love that you have so many of the two of you “growing” together.

Mema -Gma February 14, 2009 at 10:57 am

That sure took me back YOU sure did look young. I think you should be a writer. Thaqnk You for letting me in to your life by your blog

Lydia (Tucker) Farell February 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Hi Crystal,
It has been forever since we have even seen each other… but I hope you remember me. I’m a fellow Grover class of 2001, Ele. Edu major, friends with Karen and Scott through White Suphur Springs… I was thrilled to find your blog through Karen’s Facebook page (I think that is how I found you?) Anyway, I am LOVING your love story. I knew you came to Grove City already in a relationship with Scott, but I didn’t know you were high school sweethearts… guess that makes sense! Thank you for sharing your sweet memories and I can’t wait to read about the proposal. :)
Hugs,
Lydia

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