Partners for Life

July 9, 2009

in Motherhood, siblings

The relationship between siblings is a funny thing.  I once read a Times magazine article about siblings that really struck me.  It’s funny, 3 years later and I still remember this one line  “Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people we’ll ever know who truly qualify as partners for life.”

Being the mother of three children, I think a lot about the bonds of siblings.  It’s been my prayer since one became two that our children would form lifelong bonds of friendship.

 a sweet moment

 

Some days I wonder if that’s at all possible.  As I negotiate the tense battles of “who gets to use the letter spoon today” and “who gets out of the van first” and listen to them fight because “she’s too loud” or “I had it first” I wonder if they will grow up to be friends or enemies. 

And then my son will make a bracelet for his sister at VBS or my daughter will willingly give up her prized position of back seat to her little sister.  And I’ll realize that beneath the tormenting and manipulating, they do really love each other.

  fixed nametag group

I especially liked this paragraph from the article

From the time they are born, our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They are our scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates, counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to; how to conduct friendships and when to walk away from them. Sisters teach brothers about the mysteries of girls; brothers teach sisters about the puzzle of boys. Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people we’ll ever know who truly qualify as partners for life. "Siblings," says family sociologist Katherine Conger of the University of California, Davis, "are with us for the whole journey."

I pray that through the journey, my children will see each other as more than just the person who shared their bedroom.  I pray that they will see each with more frequency than the holidays.  I pray that they will have genuine bonds of friendship between each of them that will last through the journey and beyond.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

joy July 10, 2009 at 12:14 am

amen.

Muthering Heights July 10, 2009 at 12:18 am

Very well said!

Monica @ DailyDwelling July 10, 2009 at 1:57 am

Well put! I marvel at the special relationship that my children have with each other as well. I love to watch them interact with each other.

Alicia July 10, 2009 at 5:47 am

Those are my feelings EXACTLY!!!

gianna July 10, 2009 at 7:23 am

how sweet! it’s all worth it in the end: not only to raise children to love the lord, but also kids to love each other. there is a reason, right?

homegrownstrawberries July 10, 2009 at 9:18 am

That is so true and I am right there with you. I am so happy to see the love they have for each other at this point, thought the fighting is soon to come.

stella g July 10, 2009 at 10:14 am

that’s so true. i’ve never thought about it that way. Scott’s been around FOREVER! no wonder he used to get on my nerves. :)

Julie B. July 10, 2009 at 12:23 pm

I remember that article too–and my mom telling me when I was little and mad at my sister for breaking yet ANOTHER toy that “someday Daddy and I will be gone, but your sister will be with you all your life, and she will always be the person who’s known you longest.” We are really good friends now, and that’s my prayer for my kids too.

Lynn July 10, 2009 at 1:20 pm

I love that quote. Great post, Crystal.

Happy July 10, 2009 at 2:01 pm

I love the quote, I love this post, and I love those cute sibling pictures!!! You captured this all so perfectly!!

valerie July 10, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Lovely thought. I’m going to put that in my pocket and save it for later.

Nana July 10, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Dad and I are so glad that Scott and his sister always look forward to spending time with each other. May they be friends forever and your kiddos, too.

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