I don’t homeschool because I hate the government.  Nor do I homeschool because I think the public school system is all evil.  Nor do I homeschool because I want my kids to be smarter than yours.  In fact, raising super smart kids isn’t even my main goal of education.

I homeschool because I want to spend the time with my kids.  That’s it, in a nut shell.

But, if I may be honest and come clean with you, it’s hard.   In my head I have this picture of me sitting round the table with my four children dutifully working on their studies… a quiet calm in the air.

yea… stop laughing….

And every once in a blue moon, such a solitary moment will occur and I’ll snap a picture because it makes me smile and I want to remember it forever.  (or on those days when I am crying in the living room amid piles of dirty dishes and laundry and children screaming that they hate spelling)  And sometimes I’ll post these pictures to face book because I am so overjoyed to finally have one of those moments… one of those moments that as I mom I thrive off of.  And some one will inadvertently get the wrong idea and assume that’s what school looks like every day at my house.

It’s not.  School at my house almost always looks like mom in her pjs with the two older working on their studies.   There’s almost always a fight over who gets to sit by the window.  My 4 year old stays at the table to color for a few minutes then she’s off singing at the top of her lungs or playing with her baby brother.  Meanwhile my son will complain that he can’t do math/spelling/history/whatever it is I want him to do, b/c he can’t concentrate.  I’ll send him to another room but that too will result in a excuse of some sort being made for why this task is too unreasonable.  Meanwhile my 5 year old will complain b/c she wanted to do math first, but I’d rather start with reading b/c she needs me for reading and I am free at the moment….

See, my homeschool room is full of sinners.  Me, being the chief one of them.  Some days we start late b/c I got distracted by face book.  I’m usually in my pjs b/c I hit snooze when my alarm when off and I didn’t shower yet.  This typically has me wishing today could have been the day that I rose a different person, a chipper morning person who got up before my family, took care of my self and was ready to begin the day on a great foot?  But no, that’s not me.

And I am teaching/raising a brood of sinners as well.  And sin is messy.    And it has to be addressed.  Selfishness, disrespect, meanness… it all must be addressed, discussed, confessed, given consequences for, forgiven… and this takes time.  Lots of time.  Time which could be spent round that table angelically working on those assignments.

And most days when I am in the midst of battling sin, I think of that clock ticking in the background and those assignments waiting for me… assignments which will get done but since it now took twice as long as necessary, the house work won’t get done before it’s time to head out for evening of activities.  This frustrates me b/c I hate having a messy house, I hate having to let it go for tomorrow when I know tomorrow won’t be any different.

And as I battle this sin… in myself and in my children, I am more and more aware of the fact that I can’t change myself nor can I change my kids.  I can’t change their hearts.  Only God can.  And so I plead with tears in my eyes as I sit on the hallway floor, begging God to please work in their hearts, please work through me.

It’s a daily battle.

And this spring, I found myself growing a little weary.  A little battle worn.  A little fearful that maybe things weren’t going to get better.  That I didn’t know what I was doing.  Sure we were learning our history time lines and phonics rules… but where was that heart change?

But, the past few weeks, I’ve seen some growth which fills this Momma’s heart with hope.  God is working in my kids hearts.  I see it.  I see a genuine desire to show love to each other.  Not all the time, not every day… they are still human in fact.  But I see God changing my child’s heart.  I see love where before I saw selfishness.  I see HIM at WORK!  And I praise Him.  Because I can think of nothing, not one thing more exciting than to see the Lord at work in the hearts of my children.

This morning I posted this picture on face book.  And I was kinda afraid to post it b/c I didn’t want people to get the wrong idea.  To think I was bragging or to think that I had these perfect kids who angelically sit at the table and help each other with their studies.  I posted it b/c when I saw this scene… when I saw a sister accepting help and correction from her brother… when I saw a brother lovingly helping, not being bossy or showing off that he was right, but gently correcting and encouraging…I saw God at work in their lives and I couldn’t help but smile and rejoice.    We had tears of frustration later over noisy sisters and people using their crayons… but in this moment I saw that all those heart to heart talks this past year, those tearful pleadings for God to soften hearts and mold us to be like him… I saw them being answered…and I couldn’t help but rejoice!

Spring break was FABULOUS!  Oh my, what a treat to have an entire 6 days off of school.  It was like a foretaste of summer vacation, (which for this homeschooling family is just around the corner).  But before we get back to the books tomorrow, thought I’d share a few of our favorite memories from the week. 

We crafted…

We made memories with friends

(he had SOO much fun seeing the farm animals at the park with his friends)

We reviewed the Easter story

Our oldest son finally got to enjoy his Christmas gift by attending opening day with Dad (and saw his first Orioles win)

We spent time with grandparents

We played lots of basketball

We went to the park and had lots of extra time with Dad.

It was a wonderfully relaxing and fun filled week.  Now to buckle down, put our nose to the grindstone and finish the school year strong.

March was a rough month at the circus.  Scott had some deadlines at work which meant he worked a lot of overtime.  This happens with his work and we’ve all learned to roll with it, but that doesn’t mean that the long days don’t eventually start to take their toll. 

On all of us

Which is why it’s been so great the last 2 weeks having Scott around more often.  Last Monday he left work at 2 to go to DC with us, on Friday he got home at 5:30 (to which my oldest son asked, “Dad did you take vacation time to get home this early?”), Monday he was home by 5 and Tuesday he took the whole day off! 

He had to use vacation time to do this, but after the many, many late nights in March, we all felt it a good use of vacation time to have him home.  Especially since we’re on spring break this week. 

Yesterday after the kids woke up and were snuggling on the couch, he made a few phone calls and announced that he wasn’t going to work that day.  He just hung out with us all day… it was so fun and random… he watched the NCAA play off game which we had recorded for our son Monday night, with the kids.  Then he helped tackle a project that I’ve really been wanting done around the house.    We took the kids to the park for a picnic lunch.  He got to watch the girls gymnastics class- always a treat and we topped the day off with dinner at one of our favorite pizza places. 

I am not a girl who typically enjoys surprises.  I am a planner and greatly enjoy the anticipation of an event.  But, I gotta tell you, having my hubby home on a random, unexpected Tuesday, was PURE BLISS! 

Christmas is my favorite time of year.  I love the music, the food, the decorations, the smells, the lights… I love it all.  But without a doubt, my favorite part is that it is truly a month long celebration of our Lord’s birth.  And I love that as I am grocery shopping or at the mall, or in the inner harbor of Baltimore, I can hear music which praises His name. 

But, as wonderful as Christmas is, and as very near to my heart it is, it means nothing, NOTHING without Easter.  For Easter is when we remember Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for our sins, and His conquering of death and sin when he rose from the dead on Easter morning.  

Easter is where it’s at, folks. 

And yet, I don’t know why.  It seems Easter gets much less celebration.  Last year a friend sent me this link with some great ideas of activities to do with your kids Easter week.  I was super excited and bookmarked the site.  Next thing I know it was Easter Sunday and we had done none of the activities. 

You all know that I love a good celebration and will celebrate any day that comes along.  Pi day, anyone?  And therefore, since we are a holiday/celebration loving family, I felt compelled this year to attempt to go all out for Easter.  Being as it is, in my opinion, the holiday most worthy of celebrating.

So,  I mapped out our Easter celebration on my calendar.  We started our resurrection eggs on March 2o, with the goal to finish on Palm Sunday.  I gotta tell you we have missed a few days here and there and had to double up.  But, the kids have really, really enjoyed them and I think the physical symbols of the Easter story in the eggs helps them remember the details of the story.   While my 8 year old already knows what is in each egg and what they represent, I realized my 4 year old doesn’t and so this has been a great review for all of us.  Even our youngest enjoys his turn opening up the egg and playing with what is inside. 

Today, I sat down with the link I mentioned before, my Easter pinterest board and a sheet of paper to map out the week of Holy week and schedule in the things I want to do with the kids next week during our spring break in anticipation of Easter. 

I am so excited!   But, I know that my intentions don’t often pan out, however, here is my dream list of what I’d like to do with the kids in the coming week.  Here they are, in case any of you are looking for some Easter activities to do with your kids in the next week.

This weekend we are going to make a Easter garden like this.  We are also going to go to our neighborhood Easter egg hunt.  I am also hoping to make this adorable egg garland this weekend to hang above our piano.  I bought the supplies today, but not sure if I will attempt this one with the kids or after they are in bed.

Sunday:  We are going to make palm branches out of construction paper and wave them around singing Hosanna!

Monday:  Bake bread for neighbor , make Handprint Easter lily bouquets

Tuesday:  Easter picture tree, and do an Easter egg lunch hunt

Wednesday:  Easter scavenger hunt, make cross shaped Rice Krispy treats

Thursday: foot washing ceremony, also going to make jelly bean bracelets with the girls (I saw the bracelet idea on pinterest but when I went to link to it, the site where it was linked to no longer exists, so here’s the picture.  I assume a needle, thread and jelly beans is all that is needed).

Friday:  GOOD FRIDAY:  For breakfast we are going to have hot crossed buns.  I’ve never made them before but they seemed appropriate for Good Friday.   The recipe calls for raisins which I don’t care for and after an informal face book poll, it seems ok for me to make them without raisins as long as they are hot and crossed.  

I would also like to have each of us write down a sin we’ve done this week and nail it to a cross, as well as do the white carnation in red dyed water activity (both found here).   In the evening, we will also attend our church’s Good Friday service.  It is my most favorite church service of the year.

Saturday:  We are going to invite the grandparents over to dye Easter eggs.  I was also thinking about re-watching the Passion of the Christ after the kids go to bed.

Sunday:  We will go to church Easter morning.  Afterwards we are going to have both sets of grandparents over for Easter dinner. I’m going to have the kids make these resurrection rolls for our dinner.  We are going to have carrot cup cakes for dessert with those trick candles that keep relighting.  We will also do an egg hunt in the backyard.  That night we’ll have a family movie night and watch this animated movie about the life of Christ. 

Without a doubt, my favorite Children’s Story Bible is the Jesus Storybook Bible and I do plan to read the Easter story to them from it on Easter weekend as well.   I’ve also pulled out my copy of No Wonder They Call Him the Savior by Max Lucado to read personally this week. 

I gotta confess I set out on the first day of Lent to read the Holy Week account during Lent, and I got off track somewhere during week 1 and haven’t kept up.   I hope I do a better job this week of staying on track.  I can’t wait to worship our Lord on Easter morning and I think my worship will be much more heartfelt if I spend the week reflecting on my sin, and on His sacrifice for me. 

Happy Easter everyone!

While we didn’t plan it like this at first, Sunday ended up being date day for each of our 4 kids.   Each child ended up with some one on one time with either mom, dad, or Aunt Karen.  Good times had by all!

One of the duties of our church deacons is to unlock the church on Sunday mornings.  When Scott became a deacon 3 years ago, he started taking one child with him on his deacon duty mornings.  This served a dual or maybe even triple purpose.  1.  it got him some one on one time with one of the kids  2.  it allowed the kids to participate in serving the church alongside him  (rather than serving at church being something that took Daddy away from the fam) and 3.  it left me with one left kid to get ready for church Sunday morning.    The kids LOVE when it is their turn for deacon duty with Daddy.  They love unlocking their SS classrooms, turning on the lights, and turning on the heat in each room.  They also enjoy watching the worship team practice and probably most of all, they love having Daddy to themselves for a few hours on Sunday morning.    This Sunday it was our 4 year olds turn and her face lit up when Daddy asked her on her date.  (they also LOVE getting to ride in Daddy’s car and put the windows down!)

This Sunday after church Aunt Karen took our 6 year old out for a belated birthday date at the mall.   They went to lunch, went shopping for a new pair of earrings, and even got some dessert afterwards.  She was so excited the night before when Aunt Karen told her to wear something nice and they would go to the mall to pick out her birthday gift.  I was so excited that they were able to have some one on one time together.  I love that Aunt Karen wants to take an active role in my kids lives. 

Meanwhile…since we already had 2 cars at church, I took our oldest son out to Starbucks for a Mother/Son Cub Scout date.  He only had a few more requirements left to complete in order to earn his Wolf Badge.  These involved discussing a few hypothetical situations and how he would and should respond in each scenario.  I thought it might be more fun to complete the questions on a Starbucks date…things didn’t work out the evening I planned to go out with him and the banquet is next weekend, so Sunday afternoon was a must!   After our trip to Starbucks, we visited the library to pick out some more books for him to read.  A perfect afternoon date if you ask me!

Every Sunday evening is Daddy date time for our youngest.  I take the older three to evening church for catechism class.  Since I teach one of the classes, I stay there with them.  This affords Scott some rare one on one time with the lil guy.  Scott has always appreciated this time on Sunday evenings…. when I first started 4 years ago it was his Daddy/girl time while the oldest and I went to class.  He really does treasure a few hours on Sunday evening to play with the youngest of the crew while everyone else is away. 

We don’t have a set schedule for who gets one on one time with whom when.  It doesn’t happen on a set rotation each month.  (other than keeping track of who is up next for deacon duty) But, when we can we try to seize the opportunity for a little one on one time with each kid… to see their personalities apart from the rest, to listen to just them, and to foster our relationships with them as individuals.  This Sunday was a rare opportunity for each child to enjoy some time in the lime light. 

It has become a Circus Fam tradition to eat Christmas Eve dinner at Boston Market.  We go to the 4:30 children’s service, then have dinner at Boston Market and then return for the 6:30 candlelight service at church.  There really isn’t time to eat dinner together and enjoy both services unless we eat out.  The horrendous service we received at Boston Market this year did cause all of us to question whether it may be the last year we partake of this tradition…

I LOVE the candle light service…this year my favorite parts were holding my nephew Eli on my lap while singing Silent Night during the candle lighting and the look of TOTAL glee on my 4 year old’s face as she held her candle ALL BY HERSELF.  (She kept grinning ear to ear and whenever I looked over at her she’d say, “Papa isn’t holding it… I am holding it ALL ALONE!”

Everyone enjoys putting up a figure on our nativity advent calendar.

Putting out cookies for Santa… this concept was lost on one of us, who thought the cookies CLEARLY were put out for him.

After MUCH waiting, it was FINALLY time to leave Mommy and Daddy’s room and see the tree! 

Since we are so fortunate to have both sets of grandparents and one set of aunt/uncle share Christmas morning with us… there are quite a lot of presents under our tree on Christmas morning!

I love the gaggle of cousins and uncles and Daddies and grandparents and presents and wrapping paper that makes up the morning…

She wanted to give Daddy a bag to put his wallet, keys, and badge in when he gets home from work each day.  That way he’ll always know where to find them in the morning when he’s leaving for work.  Thanks to Miss Jen for helping her sew her this “man purse” for Daddy.  Daddy’s favorite part?  That she labeled the front and back of the bag for him. 

Our 4 year old has been SO good about staying off of the top bunk till she’s 5.  (Circus Family bunk bed policy) So, for Christmas Mommy and Daddy and big sister let her have one night on the top bunk.

Watching him open and play with this tool bench was like déjà vu… as we gave this same tool bench to his older brother 5 Christmases ago… (it’s been living in the attic for a few years… waiting for a little brother to come along and use it)

I found American Girl dolls for the girls on Craigs List in March and have been holding on to them with eager anticipation to give them to the girls.  (Yes, this is the same Molly doll our oldest “borrowed” on her lunch date with Daddy a few weeks ago and when the girls went to a birthday party at the AG doll store last Wednesday these were the same dolls they “borrowed” to sit with at the party). 

The day was topped off with Charlie Brown’s Christmas…

a piano recital by my 7 yr old and birthday cake for Jesus!

I love these traditions!

But most of all, I love sharing them with our extended family… so thankful to have Grandma and Papa, Nana and Pop, and Uncle Jim, Aunt Karen, Eli and Ben here to celebrate with us… many, many wonderful memories were made during our time together!

Love choosing and cutting down our tree…

Love decorating it and passing on the memories to my children of the precious ornaments hung on our tree…

Love the wonder of the lights…

Love watching them play with toys that only come out once a year…

Love seeing them act out the story of Christ’s birth as they play with their nativity sets

And this year I love listening to the sounds of Christmas carols fill the house as my son plays them on the piano

It really is, the most wonderful time of the year.

Growing up, part of me wished for a sister… one to share a room with, share clothes and secrets with…. maybe if I’d have had one, I would know better how to braid my girls hair…  I had a great brother, and I would never have traded him for a sister, yet part of me at times felt like I was missing out a little…

When I married Scott I instantly gained in my sister-in-law the sister I had always wanted.  And she is all that and more.  And to sweeten the deal even more, Karen and I share a birthday.  We joke that it’s perfect because it makes it so much easier for him to remember my birthday (that would work IF he could remember his sisters birthday).

I truly couldn’t love Karen more if she was my blood.  I’ve known Karen for more than half my life… in HS I was her secret sister in lacrosse.  While Scott and I were dating in college, she let me crash in her dorm room (often even sharing her top bunk) so I could come and visit Scott at Grove City.  We’ve run races together, shared a mouth guard (gross I know), she’s cut my hair, told me not to wear that jacket with that dress, she was my maid of honor in our wedding…

She became that shopping partner I needed and is great for the clothing consults… (even cross country).  I appreciate her humor and her realness.  I respect her faith and her strength.  She is an awesome Army wife.  She’s a great mom, so laid back and easy going.  And she is one, fantabulous aunt.  (I love listening to my girls play with their baby dolls b/c one is always the mom and the other is always the Aunt Karen).   I appreciate how important family is to Karen and all the effort she makes to be an active and real part of our family’s lives, despite the distance she has always lived from us.  It means more to me than she could ever know.  

Last week we visited Karen and Jim on our way to and from Fl and during quiet/nap time, the two of us got to escape for a little Starbucks date (One of my favorite things to do with Karen).  It was like a pre-birthday gift to ourselves.     I love that we share a birthday… kinda seals the whole sisterhood thing, ya know?   So, happy birthday Karen… my friend, my sister, and my birthday buddy!  I love you bunches!!!

Most people think that perfect beach weather is a bright sunny day, but we discovered unexpected joy in a trip to the Florida beach on an overcast evening following an afternoon rain storm.

Shuttle launch in the morning, nap in the afternoon, beach in the evening, and free Chick-Fil-A right before bed… it was a perfect day in Florida… totally worth the 32 hours of driving it took to get there and back.

~clicking on picture will make it bigger~

With Fathers Day approaching this weekend and the kids and I brainstorming ways to make it ultra special for the circus dad, I feel it also appropriate to spend some time reflecting on my own father.

Because, when it comes to dad’s, I have been richly blessed. 

While in the throws of parenthood, I think many a parents wonders, “Is it making a difference?  Do my kids even notice?” 

And the answer is a resounding “Yes!”

Now a mother myself as I look back on my childhood, I am so grateful, so deeply grateful for the relationship I have had with my dad. 

As I think of my dad, many thoughts come to mind… he’s hardworking, always a kidder, a follower of Christ, great with kids, a loving and attentive Grandpa, sports fan, great shopper…. but if I had to some it up in one word, I’d say my dad is dependable. 

Dad was always there when we needed him.   My brother and I went to a Christian high school that was about 30 min from our house.  I recall dad going out of his way to take us to school and drop us off.  He’d wait patiently in the parking lot for us, scheduling his work appts around our dismissal times.  He made it to our band competitions, and sports games, and school plays.  And now, as an adult, he’s still there for me.  He makes the trek to MD to visit me and my family multiple times a year.  He does his best to make it to the kids birthday parties and sports games.  He was there at the hospital to meet each of his grandchildren after they were born.  This sometimes meant driving late into the night after a full day of work only to drive that same long trek back home to go to work shortly after.  But, dad was there. 

I have one very vivid memory of my dad which truly means the world to me.  It was the end of my senior year of high school.  Math is subject I struggled with all through high school.  After being accepted to college, I had to go and take some kind of entrance test or something.  I don’t really recall the details of that, all I do recall is finding out that I was going to have to take a remedial math class my first semester of college.  It would be a non credit math class that I had to take and pass before I could even take the regular math class I needed to fulfill my requirements.   Looking back now, it really wasn’t a big deal.  It was one class, take it, pass, and move along.  But, then, as a 17 yr old girl, it was devastating… the end of the world… in fact.  “I’m dumb… I hate math… I’m never going to pass… this is awful.”  Truthfully, my pride was hurt.  And that in and of itself was the issue.    I went out that night with Scott and some friends… I recall coming home late and dad waiting up for me in the living room.  I remember walking in the door, and Dad coming over to me and just giving me a big hug.  He said, “Mom told me about your math.”  Instantly I was embarrassed again.   “Your going to be ok,”  He said, “I know it’s not easy for you, but it’ll all work out.”

And ya know.  He was right.  I took the class.  I was embarrassed that first week when I couldn’t find the building and had to ask a million and one people where it was b/c no one had heard of the building, b/c actually it was off campus at a Sylvan learning center, and thus I had to tell a million and one people that I was taking remedial math.  But I found the building, took the class, passed, took the required math classes after that, passed… and life went on.  In the scheme of life, it was a very little deal.  And yet 15 years later I still look back at that night… at dad waiting up just to give me a hug… at Dad letting me know he cared, he understood how I felt, and ya know what it was a big deal.   Because it illustrates yet again, that dad was there.  He cared.  He supported me. 

And that’s the kind of dad he is.  Dependable, supportive, understanding.   I’m so thankful, so very thankful for my dad.  Happy Fathers Day Dad!!