growing up

Ya know that feeling you get when you look at your kids and you just wanna freeze time?  You don’t want them to grow up, not one bit, so you just try your best to hold on to the moments while you can.

Well, we figured out a way to freeze time here at the circus…just a little…

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Our littlest crew member turned one earlier this month.  Not sure how that year flew by so fast.  

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However, we didn’t celebrate his birthday until this past weekend.  So, in a way… we froze time for a little longer.  IMG_2705

But, now that his scrapbook and video are both finished (circus family 1st birthday traditions), and he’s had that first bite of cake, there really is no denying it…IMG_2755

The Circus Baby is one. 

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I have a little header on my right side bar that says “One Year Ago”  though it will actually list posts from this date either 1, 2, or 3 yrs ago. (Can you believe Life At The Circus is over 3 yrs old?) 

Every now and then I will see  blog title under One Year Ago and it will catch my eye.  I think that tab alone is the motivation for me to keep blogging lately.  I hit a blogging rut this spring where I wasn’t posting or commenting much.  As I read these posts from the past, they provide little snippets into our life then… things I had forgotten and it encourages me to keep posting b/c I don’t want to forgot those precious snippets from today either.  It’s a reminder that even if no one is reading or commenting (besides the ever faithful grandmothers and Happy(Happy you seriously deserve the commenter of the year award… you are so faithful at commenting and your comments are often like mini blog posts themselves… they totally brighten my day and often make me laugh out loud)   I am blogging to preserve a piece of this circus life for later.  Because after watching this post from 3 yrs ago I remembered things I had forgotten, such as…

1.  The fact that my son used to speak in a cute lil cartoon character voice too.  I LOVE when he says, “focusing on the ball” I had totally forgotten that!

2.  How much his Uncle Jim Army uniform is truly a part of his childhood.  Seriously, that uniform is getting tucked in a box when he outgrows it.  (funny thing is the very same day I clicked on this post and watched the video, he was wearing the same Army uniform while playing in the backyard with his sister)

3.  The baby you hear saying dada that I am holding in my arms while videoing is me now almost 4 yr old…3 years later and here I am holding another sweet baby in my arm saying Dada

4.  The baby in Scott’s arms is now our 5 yr old.  (wow was that a crazy stage of life with a 4, 2, and 11mth old)

5.  My son has always been very, very literal.  (I am convinced this kid has a future in either law or the military… hmmm JAG perhaps?)

6.  Scott still watches the US Open on Fathers Day… took me till this year to realize it is on EVERY Father’s Day.  He doesn’t watch it all, but guarantee you he will turn it on at some point on Fathers Day and sit down with the kids and explain it to them.  And I still couldn’t care less about golf… seriously other than perhaps tennis and Nascar… I can’t think of anything more boring to watch.  

Click here and take a stroll with me down memory lane, to June 2008… I had a 4, 2 and 11 mth old.  Life At The Circus was still in its honeymoon phase.  Funny how much has changed and how much hasn’t. 

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While we’re making him wait till the end of the month to savor his first taste of cake (at his party when his grandparents can be there to ooh and aah), we couldn’t let his day go by without some sort of yummy mess. 

Enter baby’s first donut for breakfast.

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First, he ate each individual sprinkle off of the donut.  IMG_1464

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Then, it was time to ditch the hat, and tack a dab at the icing… again using his fingers to scrape it clean.

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Next, it was time to dig into the donut itself.

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Hey Mom, do ya have any more?

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No? Ok, no problem…

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The circus baby says, “Hooray for donuts!”

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I don’t share the kids names on the blog… but ya wanna know a secret? If our youngest son, had been a girl, her name would have been Joy. And as I reflected on that recently, I couldn’t help but think what a perfect word that is for our little man.

He truly is Joy personified.

Never have I seen a more happy, more contented, more easy going baby. He showers us all with laughs and smiles. He is a true joy.

And he has brought such depths of joy to our family this past year. His brother and sisters adore him. Truly adore him. And they have from the moment I told them we were having a baby. He was loved and welcomed into the circus crew from the womb.

As far as our planning is concerned, this little man will be our last baby. And knowing that, I have tried very hard to savor every precious moment with this guy. I have never been rushed for him to reach the next milestone or stage. I haven’t minded the nights when he needed Mommy to snuggle him to sleep on the couch or the fact that he held onto his middle of the night feeding longer than any of my other kids did.

I have savored his first year. I love how easily he smiles. I love the way he waves his hands in the air and exclaims with glee when I’m getting ready to feed him. I love that he is my snuggle bug, often falling asleep in my arms at gymnastics or practice.  I love the way his eyes light up when he sees his sisters or brother walk in the room. I love the way he crawls to the gate and says, “Da Da” when Scott comes home from work. I love how he claps his hands and yells a loud grunt when he’s at one of his siblings games.  He’s the best little cheer leader/encourager!

His laugh, which comes so freely, truly warms your heart and one can’t help but smile when he calls out to you and flashes one of his smiles.


We’re waiting till later this month to celebrate his first birthday, but I can’t help but pause this week and reflect on the gift of joy that God has given our family through this precious lil guy.

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IMG_1193There were moments, many moments, this year when I doubted.  I wondered if I was giving him what he needed, if  he was on par with where the public school was.  I wondered what I was thinking, was it worth the battles, and the mess around my house.   Days when I shoved school work aside as I put dinner on the table before quickly rushing out the door for practice.   Truthfully, the hardest thing for me is the mess… is letting the mess go so we can concentrate on school work. 

But, then there are nights like last night.  Nights where we stop and we look back over the year as a whole and I realize how far we’ve grown, how much he’s learned and I realize that it was the right choice for us, for this year.  The sacrifices were worth it. 

At the beginning of the year, he could read.  He could read words on a page, but he wasn’t a reader.  Now he reads books.  I love peeking in on him after I’ve kissed him goodnight and see him snuggled in his bed with his Bible.

The thing he was most excited about learning this year was “script.”  I loved that he called it that too.  He couldn’t wait to write in script.  And I must say, I am quite proud of his cursive.IMG_1292

IMG_1223We learned parts of speech and how to label them in a sentence, as well as how to carry the one in triple digit addition.  We learned all about the state we live in and important landmarks and people in our country.   And this spring he finally mastered tying his shoes!

I am so thankful, so very thankful, for the tutorial he’s enrolled in.  I am IMG_1235thankful for the community and accountability it provides.  It’s provided the best of both worlds for us as we homeschool and it, like home schooling this year, has been worth the sacrifices required.

IMG_1276Summer’s here and the school year is done.  I am thankful for the extra time I had with my son this year, by choosing home school.  I am proud of the young man he is growing up to be.  And I am marveling, truly marveling, at how quickly the time is passing. Here I sit with my second grader.

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