Heard round the circus this past week…

From my 4 year old:

“Your right hand can’t know what your left hand is doing…unless your giving a hug, then it’s ok.”

Again from my 4 year old:

After pouring peroxide on her cut, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Mom, that burns like Sprite!” (soooo hard not to laugh while she was obviously in pain)

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When my almost 2 year old spilled milk all over the table, I said, “Thanks so much buddy.”  He looked up at me with a huge smile and said for the very first time, “Your welcome!”  (apparently sarcasm is lost on the under 2 crowd)

For the past four and half years, this has been her “go to” position for comfort. 

As a baby it was great… she totally self soothed… no pacifiers to chase down or beloved blankey to snuggle.  Just pop her index and middle fingers in her mouth backwards and start rubbing her ear (or twirling her hair) and she could instantly calm herself to sleep. 

We knew of course this would have it’s trade off.  We knew that the cost for an easy night sleep would pay its dues when it came time to break her of the habit.  Because unlike the pacifiers her older siblings used, you can’t exactly throw away her fingers when you want her to stop sucking them. 

And so, we put forth our best efforts to rally a campaign of no more finger sucking at age 3….

which then became age 4….

So, here we are, almost 2 months from her fifth birthday and she’s still sucking her fingers in the car, when she’s falling asleep, and when she’s snuggling on the couch….

Until this weekend….

At around 10pm Thursday night as we were driving to my SIL’s in Va, I hear here say to herself in the back of the van… “Look at me not putting my fingers in my mouth.  I AM NOT PUTTING MY FINGERS IN MY MOUTH”  We of course affirmed and praised this decision of hers. 

Next day, “Guess what?  I didn’t put my fingers in my mouth, the whole way to Aunt Karen and Uncle Jim’s or all last night or this morning in the van.” 

Every now and then, when she was tempted to put them in her mouth, she’d proclaim, “Here I am not putting my fingers in my mouth.”

This was the most telling to me, because I knew it meant she was making a conscious decision not to put them in her mouth.  For whatever reason she decided she wasn’t going to do it anymore. 

And we praised her for it and I promised to paint her nails when we got home on Saturday night if she kept them out of her mouth. 

Saturday night I painted her nails… 5 bright shades of fantastic with a top coat of glitter!!!

So, you can see all it took was 2 years of nagging her finally coming to the decision on her own to stop doing it and she broke the habit.  Cold Turkey!

I’m pretty sure this says something about her will and personality and the *fun* we’re going to have when the teen years arrive…

This past week our oldest son turned 8.  As quickly as that time seems to have flown, it is frightening to me to realize in just as little time, he’ll be waving goodbye as he backs a car out of the driveway.   AACK!   In the midst of this busy stage of life, I want to take time to reflect on who he is now at this stage, so I can cherish and savor it for years to come. 

He is passionate… when he is interested in something he is fully interested in it… reading, watching, playing, dressing up as… essentially eating, drinking, and breathing in that topic.  This past year those passions have been Star Wars, the Revolutionary War, Ninjago and basketball. 

He is thoughtful.  In soccer this fall his coach gave him the gentleman’s award.  His coach told me that he was so considerate, always thanking him after every single practice and game.  He does the same in baseball.  I never have to remind him.  When practice is done, he eagerly runs over and starts helping to put away the bases.  Then he goes and says thank you to each coach.  It fills my heart with pride to see him do this on his own initiative. 

He is creative.  He can turn an old ring pop into a Green Lantern ring and a stick into a bow and arrow.  He’s great at writing stories and making costumes and props.  He def seems to be “right brained.”  Messes don’t bother him, in fact he “can’t sleep when my bed is made.” 

He is sensitive. This fall when his great grandpa passed away, he told Scott and I that he wanted to say something at his memorial service. We were both nervous for him, but he was insistent that he wanted to get up and talk about Great Grandpa. I was so proud of him as he walked up to the microphone. He looked out at all the people and you could see the panic in his face. Scott was behind him and encouraged him. He took a huge breath and read his paper. When he sat down he said to me, “That was a mistake.” My son, that was no mistake. It took courage and bravery to do what you did and I know it blessed your Nana and Daddy’s hearts more than you’ll ever realize. You made me proud that day and Great Grandpa was honored.

One of my favorite pictures of my son from this past year is of him reading in our van on the way home from a trip to PA.  I love how much he loves to read and I truly enjoy hearing him tell me stuff he learned, “in a book I read once.”  Favorite books this past year were The Magic Tree House series, Cam Jansen, and currently The Boxcar Children.  He also just started reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.   

I love the way his tongue sticks out a little when he’s concentrating or working hard on something.  I love the way he loves his little brother and takes true joy and delight in him.   He is a great big brother to the circus crew and I am proud to have him leading the pack.

8 years old… almost finished with second grade… your right smack  in the middle of your childhood.  I love the glimpses I see of the man your growing up to be.  You make me proud for so many reasons.  But, I love you because your you.  I love who you are, and who God’s molding you to be and I am so thankful for the privilege of being your Momma.

It’s been really neat to watch the bond between my oldest and youngest.   Our baby was the answer to his older brothers prayers, as he longed to have a little brother.  I’ll never forget the look of pure joy when he found out he finally had a baby brother.   I know he can’t wait for the day when they can truly play together, but for now it is so neat to see the love between them blossom. 

Last night was proof that the love flows both ways.  The baby is used to falling asleep at night with his big brother on the bed across the room reading his book.   Last night, however, his big brother spent the night at a friends house.  So, when we put the obviously tired baby into his crib, he had his baby, his pacifier, light on, door closed…but no big brother across the room. 

When we walked out of the room, he was quiet for awhile.  Then he started crying… truly crying.  This is something he never really does when we put him down.  Typically, we put him to sleep and he will just lay quietly in his crib until he falls asleep.   I went back after awhile to see if maybe he lost his pacifier or something.  But, no he had everything he needed, yet he was crying.  After taking him out for a drink and laying him back down, he again started crying, REALLY CRYING. 

We both suspected it had something to do with the big brother missing from the bed beside him. 

So, Scott laid him down on his brothers bed.  He snuggled up and fell fast and sound asleep… for the entire night. 

It was his first night not sleeping in his crib…

sleeping soundly in his big brother’s bed…

It simply melts my heart…

She pretty much whips me at this every Monday and Wednesday… and I wouldn’t trade the sweet memories we’re making for anything in the world.

Since it was the first day of spring this week, I decided it might be time to take down the Valentine’s wreath from my door and switch it for my Easter one.  Today I thought I’d take it a step further and even pull out my spring/Easter/”leave up till I pull out the red/white/blue decorations for summer around Memorial day” decorations…as I did the girls were ooing and aahing over the little eggs, flowers, chicks and lambs…Then my 6 year old daughter saw the bunny my mother in law had given me a few years ago and said, “Awh look at the bunny and it’s even holding a football.”

Yes, that’s right… a football, not an Easter egg was the first thing to come to her mind when she saw this bunny.  Because at our house, football knows no season…it’s a year round obsession and truly, nothing says Easter like a bunny holding a football.

My youngest often wakes up early in the morning… you know that tricky hour of the day when it isn’t yet time for anyone to be awake but yet close enough to morning that if you let him cry it out a bit they’ll probably wake up and it’s way earlier than you want more than one child up seeing as it’s earlier than you even want to be up.  You know that time of the night/morning?

So, when this happens, I grab my lil man and bring him into bed.  He is my snuggler.  And by snuggler, I mean, wrap his sweet lil arms around your neck and lay his head on your chest and fall asleep.  Or, sit beside you and lay his head on top of your face and fall asleep.  Sometimes he’ll lay snuggled in the middle of us with one or both of us putting our arm around him. 

This of course means that we almost always end up staying in bed longer than we originally planned.   Because if your already not an early riser by nature, think of how much harder it is to get up with your sweet lil baby sleeping on top of you. 

Sometimes, however, there is not choice but to risk disrupting him and get out of bed.  And when that happens I always, always find myself thinking of that episode of Friends where Chandler Bing learns Ross’s “Hug and Roll technique”.   

I am convinced that some of the best bonding between my kids takes place after we kiss them goodnight and shut the door.  The policy in our house has been that they can talk in bed (or in their drawers) as long as they are quiet and stay laying down.  (no jumping off the bed or playing with toys) The giggles and chattering drifting down the hall are some of my most cherished sounds.  In fact, it was during one of these “behind closed doors chats” that my son led his younger sister to the Lord.  She told me one day that she knew she was a Christian because she had prayed with her brother one night asking God to forgive her of her sins and be her Savior. 

So, naturally, when my oldest son moved out of the room he’d shared with his sisters for 4 years in order to share a room with his little brother, it was a bittersweet moment at the circus.

But, I think in the past year since that happened the bond of friendship between the girls has grown.  AND a genuine love of reading has transpired in my oldest sons life, as well, as a unique bond of brotherhood between the boys. 

When he moved into his brothers room, we knew the late night talking would cease for awhile.  But, we told him, you may stay up and read in your bed.   I had no idea at the time the hours of reading that would transpire with this new arrangement.   It is not unusual for me to have to go back and tell him lights out at 11:00.  In fact last Friday, he was beyond excited because he had managed to stay up until midnight! 

It’s a cute little arrangement that has taken place.  My youngest will contentedly lay in his crib falling asleep watching his big brother reading.  It doesn’t bother him to have the light on, or to fall asleep with someone else in the room.  In fact, I dare you to try to put him to sleep at night without his brother there. 

Last night we told the kids to get ready for bed and we went down the hall to find this. 

He sat there so quietly, so contently that we ended up leaving him there for awhile before going back and moving him to his crib.  

When I was taking my Elem Education classes in college, I learned that reading in front of your children is crucial to develop a life long love of reading.  They need to see that you too enjoy reading and it just isn’t something you do because you have to.  I can only imagine growing up watching his big brother read for hours every night, will have a similarly positive effect on him. 

While we didn’t plan it like this at first, Sunday ended up being date day for each of our 4 kids.   Each child ended up with some one on one time with either mom, dad, or Aunt Karen.  Good times had by all!

One of the duties of our church deacons is to unlock the church on Sunday mornings.  When Scott became a deacon 3 years ago, he started taking one child with him on his deacon duty mornings.  This served a dual or maybe even triple purpose.  1.  it got him some one on one time with one of the kids  2.  it allowed the kids to participate in serving the church alongside him  (rather than serving at church being something that took Daddy away from the fam) and 3.  it left me with one left kid to get ready for church Sunday morning.    The kids LOVE when it is their turn for deacon duty with Daddy.  They love unlocking their SS classrooms, turning on the lights, and turning on the heat in each room.  They also enjoy watching the worship team practice and probably most of all, they love having Daddy to themselves for a few hours on Sunday morning.    This Sunday it was our 4 year olds turn and her face lit up when Daddy asked her on her date.  (they also LOVE getting to ride in Daddy’s car and put the windows down!)

This Sunday after church Aunt Karen took our 6 year old out for a belated birthday date at the mall.   They went to lunch, went shopping for a new pair of earrings, and even got some dessert afterwards.  She was so excited the night before when Aunt Karen told her to wear something nice and they would go to the mall to pick out her birthday gift.  I was so excited that they were able to have some one on one time together.  I love that Aunt Karen wants to take an active role in my kids lives. 

Meanwhile…since we already had 2 cars at church, I took our oldest son out to Starbucks for a Mother/Son Cub Scout date.  He only had a few more requirements left to complete in order to earn his Wolf Badge.  These involved discussing a few hypothetical situations and how he would and should respond in each scenario.  I thought it might be more fun to complete the questions on a Starbucks date…things didn’t work out the evening I planned to go out with him and the banquet is next weekend, so Sunday afternoon was a must!   After our trip to Starbucks, we visited the library to pick out some more books for him to read.  A perfect afternoon date if you ask me!

Every Sunday evening is Daddy date time for our youngest.  I take the older three to evening church for catechism class.  Since I teach one of the classes, I stay there with them.  This affords Scott some rare one on one time with the lil guy.  Scott has always appreciated this time on Sunday evenings…. when I first started 4 years ago it was his Daddy/girl time while the oldest and I went to class.  He really does treasure a few hours on Sunday evening to play with the youngest of the crew while everyone else is away. 

We don’t have a set schedule for who gets one on one time with whom when.  It doesn’t happen on a set rotation each month.  (other than keeping track of who is up next for deacon duty) But, when we can we try to seize the opportunity for a little one on one time with each kid… to see their personalities apart from the rest, to listen to just them, and to foster our relationships with them as individuals.  This Sunday was a rare opportunity for each child to enjoy some time in the lime light. 

More times than not, when I peek in on my girls before heading to bed, I find them sleeping together. 

Sometimes this means they are both down on the bottom bunk.

Sometimes, it means they are side by side in their drawers (truthfully I find them like this almost as often as I find them in the bottom bunk). 

Sometimes they are both on the floor.  (haven’t found them like that in the last 2 weeks)

And once, last week, I even found them side by side in the same drawer. 

As I peek in on them snuggled up together, it gives me hope that as they grow, they’ll share secrets, slumber parties, and hopefully a life long friendship, side by side….