Life At The Circus — Juggling my roles as wife, homemaker, and mother of four

Reflecting

May 3, 2012

in faith,family,God's handiwork,home school,homeschool

I don’t homeschool because I hate the government. Nor do I homeschool because I think the public school system is all evil. Nor do I homeschool because I want my kids to be smarter than yours. In fact, raising super smart kids isn’t even my main goal of education.

I homeschool because I want to spend the time with my kids. That’s it, in a nut shell.

But, if I may be honest and come clean with you, it’s hard. In my head I have this picture of me sitting round the table with my four children dutifully working on their studies… a quiet calm in the air.

yea… stop laughing….

And every once in a blue moon, such a solitary moment will occur and I’ll snap a picture because it makes me smile and I want to remember it forever. (or on those days when I am crying in the living room amid piles of dirty dishes and laundry and children screaming that they hate spelling) And sometimes I’ll post these pictures to face book because I am so overjoyed to finally have one of those moments… one of those moments that as I mom I thrive off of. And some one will inadvertently get the wrong idea and assume that’s what school looks like every day at my house.

It’s not. School at my house almost always looks like mom in her pjs with the two older working on their studies. There’s almost always a fight over who gets to sit by the window. My 4 year old stays at the table to color for a few minutes then she’s off singing at the top of her lungs or playing with her baby brother. Meanwhile my son will complain that he can’t do math/spelling/history/whatever it is I want him to do, b/c he can’t concentrate. I’ll send him to another room but that too will result in a excuse of some sort being made for why this task is too unreasonable. Meanwhile my 5 year old will complain b/c she wanted to do math first, but I’d rather start with reading b/c she needs me for reading and I am free at the moment….

See, my homeschool room is full of sinners. Me, being the chief one of them. Some days we start late b/c I got distracted by face book. I’m usually in my pjs b/c I hit snooze when my alarm when off and I didn’t shower yet. This typically has me wishing today could have been the day that I rose a different person, a chipper morning person who got up before my family, took care of my self and was ready to begin the day on a great foot? But no, that’s not me.

And I am teaching/raising a brood of sinners as well. And sin is messy. And it has to be addressed. Selfishness, disrespect, meanness… it all must be addressed, discussed, confessed, given consequences for, forgiven… and this takes time. Lots of time. Time which could be spent round that table angelically working on those assignments.

And most days when I am in the midst of battling sin, I think of that clock ticking in the background and those assignments waiting for me… assignments which will get done but since it now took twice as long as necessary, the house work won’t get done before it’s time to head out for evening of activities. This frustrates me b/c I hate having a messy house, I hate having to let it go for tomorrow when I know tomorrow won’t be any different.

And as I battle this sin… in myself and in my children, I am more and more aware of the fact that I can’t change myself nor can I change my kids. I can’t change their hearts. Only God can. And so I plead with tears in my eyes as I sit on the hallway floor, begging God to please work in their hearts, please work through me.

It’s a daily battle.

And this spring, I found myself growing a little weary. A little battle worn. A little fearful that maybe things weren’t going to get better. That I didn’t know what I was doing. Sure we were learning our history time lines and phonics rules… but where was that heart change?

But, the past few weeks, I’ve seen some growth which fills this Momma’s heart with hope. God is working in my kids hearts. I see it. I see a genuine desire to show love to each other. Not all the time, not every day… they are still human in fact. But I see God changing my child’s heart. I see love where before I saw selfishness. I see HIM at WORK! And I praise Him. Because I can think of nothing, not one thing more exciting than to see the Lord at work in the hearts of my children.

This morning I posted this picture on face book. And I was kinda afraid to post it b/c I didn’t want people to get the wrong idea. To think I was bragging or to think that I had these perfect kids who angelically sit at the table and help each other with their studies. I posted it b/c when I saw this scene… when I saw a sister accepting help and correction from her brother… when I saw a brother lovingly helping, not being bossy or showing off that he was right, but gently correcting and encouraging…I saw God at work in their lives and I couldn’t help but smile and rejoice. We had tears of frustration later over noisy sisters and people using their crayons… but in this moment I saw that all those heart to heart talks this past year, those tearful pleadings for God to soften hearts and mold us to be like him… I saw them being answered…and I couldn’t help but rejoice!

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Freezing This Moment in Time

April 27, 2012

in growing up,Motherhood

This past week our oldest son turned 8. As quickly as that time seems to have flown, it is frightening to me to realize in just as little time, he’ll be waving goodbye as he backs a car out of the driveway. AACK! In the midst of this busy stage of life, I want to take time to reflect on who he is now at this stage, so I can cherish and savor it for years to come.

He is passionate… when he is interested in something he is fully interested in it… reading, watching, playing, dressing up as… essentially eating, drinking, and breathing in that topic. This past year those passions have been Star Wars, the Revolutionary War, Ninjago and basketball.

He is thoughtful. In soccer this fall his coach gave him the gentleman’s award. His coach told me that he was so considerate, always thanking him after every single practice and game. He does the same in baseball. I never have to remind him. When practice is done, he eagerly runs over and starts helping to put away the bases. Then he goes and says thank you to each coach. It fills my heart with pride to see him do this on his own initiative.

He is creative. He can turn an old ring pop into a Green Lantern ring and a stick into a bow and arrow. He’s great at writing stories and making costumes and props. He def seems to be “right brained.” Messes don’t bother him, in fact he “can’t sleep when my bed is made.”

He is sensitive. This fall when his great grandpa passed away, he told Scott and I that he wanted to say something at his memorial service. We were both nervous for him, but he was insistent that he wanted to get up and talk about Great Grandpa. I was so proud of him as he walked up to the microphone. He looked out at all the people and you could see the panic in his face. Scott was behind him and encouraged him. He took a huge breath and read his paper. When he sat down he said to me, “That was a mistake.” My son, that was no mistake. It took courage and bravery to do what you did and I know it blessed your Nana and Daddy’s hearts more than you’ll ever realize. You made me proud that day and Great Grandpa was honored.

One of my favorite pictures of my son from this past year is of him reading in our van on the way home from a trip to PA. I love how much he loves to read and I truly enjoy hearing him tell me stuff he learned, “in a book I read once.” Favorite books this past year were The Magic Tree House series, Cam Jansen, and currently The Boxcar Children. He also just started reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

I love the way his tongue sticks out a little when he’s concentrating or working hard on something. I love the way he loves his little brother and takes true joy and delight in him. He is a great big brother to the circus crew and I am proud to have him leading the pack.

8 years old… almost finished with second grade… your right smack in the middle of your childhood. I love the glimpses I see of the man your growing up to be. You make me proud for so many reasons. But, I love you because your you. I love who you are, and who God’s molding you to be and I am so thankful for the privilege of being your Momma.

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To Each Their Own

April 16, 2012

in beach,Circus Shots

Some people like the feeling of sand beneath their toes. I must say I do enjoy the squish of wet sand beneath my feet as the waves lap at my ankles.

My children, however, have a whole different kind of love of sand.

One which truly baffles my mind.

EVERY SINGLE TIME we visit our community beach, it’s the same routine. We drop our stuff in the sand and they make a mad dash for the water, they splash and play and swim and then, inevitably, they decide it’s time to hit the sand.

As in lay down with their wet selves on the sand and make “sand angels”

Being sure, of course, to flip and get both of their sides equally covered in sand

And to make sure they are fully, fully caked in the sand, they will pour handful upon hand full on top of themselves,

until they are covered in at least a solid inch or two of sand

And when they feel they’ve got it on them thoroughly, they’ll stand up, run into the water, and wash it off

Only, to run back out and repeat

Perhaps it’s their own version of a spa treatment with a little exfoliating scrub…or perhaps it’s just an excuse to get dirty, all I know is, it keeps them entertained for QUITE awhile and it typically results in a sandy bathtub when we get home.

They couldn’t figure out why I didn’t want to join them. While I was happy to sit in the sand with my feet in the water, I was not so eager to roll around caking my body in dirty sand. Am I alone on this? Is it a kid thing? Thoughts?

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Their Current Favorite

April 12, 2012

in Circus Shots,TV

Round these parts the current show which they all can agree on when they are given the chance to pick something is Woody Woodpecker.

What’s at the top of your queue these days?

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Déjà Vu

April 10, 2012

in brothers

I had a slight moment of déjà vu the other day while playing with my youngest son at the park.

I snapped this picture of him playing peek a boo at 22 months.

which had a striking similarity to the picture I snapped of his older brother at the same park at 23 months.

Hmmm….can you tell they are brothers?

{ 5 comments }

What a Week!

April 9, 2012

in family,Friends

Spring break was FABULOUS! Oh my, what a treat to have an entire 6 days off of school. It was like a foretaste of summer vacation, (which for this homeschooling family is just around the corner). But before we get back to the books tomorrow, thought I’d share a few of our favorite memories from the week.

We crafted…